back at the blogging

I'm officially work-free for 13 months. Well office work that is. I'll soon be a mom of TWO kids and I'm sure it will be the hardest work I've ever done. I'm very nervous about the workload, especially under extreme sleep deprivation circumstances!

I'm hating being pregnant again. I know this is the LAST time I'll ever be pregnant, and I should be enjoying it, but I hate it. I have a condition known as "symphysis pubis dysfunction" basically what that means is the hormone "relaxin" that's in my system that makes it easier for my bones to come apart to give birth, is making my pelvic bones stretch apart a little too much. The tendons between the bones are all inflamed and I'm in excruciating pain. I feel like someone kicked me right in the crotch and just above my butt crack. I can't walk very well, I cant get up out of a car, out of bed without wishing someone would just kill me. The pain is so bad. The only place I'm pain free is sitting in a comfy chair (look out when I get up though!) and laying on my side, curled up in bed.

My belly is also just big enough that even standing at the cupboard to try and prepare some food is difficult. Frankly, I can barely reach the cupboard without hunching over, and that starts to hurt about 30 seconds after I start doing something. I pretty much have to use my arms to hold up a lot of my upper body weight.

Funny though, I've not put on as much weight as the last pregnancy, but I feel just the same. I thought that keeping my weight down this time would help, but no.

I really hate being pregnant. I can't do much. I miss doing the things that I like to do. I miss playing in the park, I miss running, I miss biking, I miss being able to cook something without feeling like my back is about to explode. I miss having a clean house - my hubby is doing a hero's job of trying to take care of everything, but with one child in the house and mom mostly out of commission its more than he can handle. I wish we could afford the maids again, but we had to dump them on account of lack of money.

I mostly hate the fact that I will be trapped in this huge body for most of the summer. Summers are so precious in Canada, they are so short and our winters are so long. I hate the fact that I"ll be heading back to work when everyone else is heading off on vacation. But you can't plan these important things in life. You get what you get when you get it.

Anyhow I hope next summer and the one after are a lot easier.