I'm starting to get really exhausted again. Things in my life piling up, requiring more energy than I've got. I have a new staff member, although a smart person, has no file or subject experience. Its a lot of work to get a new person up to speed on things. And he's only here temporarily. By the time I get him up to speed on the file, and a general awareness of the work, he'll be gone. My only other permanent staff remaining from my old group dislocated her shoulder and won't be back to work for awhile. I can't hire anyone new, despite the fact that I have three vacant positions. The government in its wisdom considers people who are away on leave, whether it be education leave, on assignment to another gorup, or maternity leave, to be "on strength" and therefore, unreplaceable during their absence. Of course this does not reduce management's expectations that the work is still going to get done, because "on paper" we have five people. But in reality, we have one new person who's here temporarily, and one person on sick leave, and one person about to go away on french training. And that's it.
Please help me, I'm drowning.
I've got to go away starting Monday for 3 weeks for language training. Although it sounds like fun, it will be a lot of work. Language training is exhausting and draining. I'll be at it, 8 hours per day, every day, for several weeks. Every time I've done language training I've felt like I've been hit by a truck, its so mentally taxing.
My husband and I are still not getting along. I need him to make some changes in his lifestyle that he's not willing to make. I really can't handle making dinner almost every weeknight anymore, as well as carrying the load for baby pick ups, especially when he doesn't come home until close to 6pm. I can't keep trying to manage a majorly understaffed work unit, cook dinners most nights, as well as keeping my daughter entertained at the same time as cooking. Its just not possible. I'm starting to suffer serious anxiety issues again - jitteriness, forgetfulness, insomnia, body pain. I'm so stiff and sore from being so anxious that I can barely move.
I really have to make some major changes in my life, but I dont know where to start. Even a job change itself can be stressful - who knows if I'd be jumping from the frying pan into the fire?
I wish I didnt have to carry the major financial load for this family. It would give me a few more options than staying in the public service. Yes, it pays well, but its a really stressful situation, as there's waay too many stupid policies that hinder our abilities to do our jobs. I feel like I"m "golden handcuffed" to this place, and I dont like that feeling.
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3 comments:
I can appreciate that working all day and then having to be responsible for planning and preparing a meal each evening would becoming overwhelming after awhile.
Would C be willing to consider an arrangement where the two of you alternate cooking responsibilities Every other day or every other week or something like that?
the thing that's tough about clancy and my schedule - I live a lot closer to my work than he does.. so a lot of his time is spent commuting. Naturally i'm taking more of the load because I've got more time.
Chris came ove to babysit and C and I both went out to yoga.. I feel a lot better today! More energy which is really what I need.
Yeah, it's amazing what a little exercise can do. The weather was so gorgeous yestersday, so I took Aaron out rollerblading. I've felt like a million bucks ever since!
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